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Sunday, October 11, 2009

She was at first very good then she was like avoiding me and super dupper~~cold towards me. Does it sounds like a dream? From a nice and sweet dream to a nightmare, from heaven pushed to hell or even more worse than hell,from a place full of lights to a place that is full of darkness. How i hope it was all a dream so that i won't feel so hurt, but it is the reality. How i hope this nice dream will last forever and ever, i will just walk around in my dream and choose not to wake up from the dream, i wanted to choose to run away from reality and not accept the fact, if i were to be a coward then i will only choose to be it for just this time. How i hope i was like sylvester, he can always change target so easily and not feeling sad when he fails, or maybe like jian kun fooling around. I thought i will be able to accept my second failure but it will again takes time, time heals but maybe it will take another 3 years or less, i also not sure. What i can do now is out of sight, out of mind, don't think and don't do things that will hurt me. I really hope i can cope with it and tolerate with everything because i really starts to hate everything. I hate her cold attitude, hate her keeps avoiding me, hate my friends who owe me money and not return when they have money and pretends to act like nothing happen, even they return money also must choose people to return, so what does it means that i have enough money with me??? Does it means that they don't need to return money to me, what the hell!!! I hate this world, i hate everything, i hate people who takes advantage on me, when they need help i try my best to help them and i get this back in return, then what for i keep being a good and steady friend?? I keep telling myself not to borrow jian kun anymore money but i still lend, why?? I treat him as my friend and he treat me what? Mun kit only know how to say later later, then in the end, not even a dollar is returned to me. What the fuck!!! If they have no money i still can understand, but the problem is even they have the money they also don't want to return, ok la, i was just stupid to treat them as friends. The person i like avoids me, the friends i rely on treats me like dirt!!! I wonder who can i rely on, Teck meng? Dyon? Junhao? Weiling? Yue ming? I just starting to lose faith in everything. Do i really have to rely on myself, do i really have to walk all alone?

Blogged @ 12:11 AM
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