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Saturday, October 17, 2009

Everytime i was hoping to see her, i beg for god to grant my wish but it was useless. When i finally saw her, i dare not approach her, i did not even think i was good enough for her, i like her too much to even dream that she would be maybe a little interested in me. But it was just my wishful thinking, she deserves a better man than me. People say sweet comes after bitter but it was just bitter for me and not just one time, but nevermind i will be used to it, after a long time later, my feelings may also be numb to forget all these happy and more unhappy things, i hope i will be fine, i must not give up, i must be strong enough to take on any unhappy things!

Blogged @ 10:46 PM
Don't let me go -

Monday, October 12, 2009

好残忍哦，她开始对我不理不睬了，好伤心哦！到头来我最不希望会发生的事，最终也发生了):。本来还以为有机会的但到头来却是一场欢喜，一场空。为什么会这样？我又做错了什么？虽然她口口声声说我没做错，那为什么对我如此的冷淡？就算我多么的不想去想不过我依然去想这件事。真恨我自己为何那么在意，但是我绝对不能因为沮丧就这么轻易的倒下，我必须坚强和坚持着。即使再多么不开心的事发生，我也要忍！我还要应付考试。可是，我是不会让那些欺骗我的人比我好过的，他们怎么样对我，我就双培奉还，就看谁先玩出火！！如果当一个好朋友只会被人骗的话，那我宁愿做个坏人！

Blogged @ 9:40 PM
Don't let me go -

Sunday, October 11, 2009

She was at first very good then she was like avoiding me and super dupper~~cold towards me. Does it sounds like a dream? From a nice and sweet dream to a nightmare, from heaven pushed to hell or even more worse than hell,from a place full of lights to a place that is full of darkness. How i hope it was all a dream so that i won't feel so hurt, but it is the reality. How i hope this nice dream will last forever and ever, i will just walk around in my dream and choose not to wake up from the dream, i wanted to choose to run away from reality and not accept the fact, if i were to be a coward then i will only choose to be it for just this time. How i hope i was like sylvester, he can always change target so easily and not feeling sad when he fails, or maybe like jian kun fooling around. I thought i will be able to accept my second failure but it will again takes time, time heals but maybe it will take another 3 years or less, i also not sure. What i can do now is out of sight, out of mind, don't think and don't do things that will hurt me. I really hope i can cope with it and tolerate with everything because i really starts to hate everything. I hate her cold attitude, hate her keeps avoiding me, hate my friends who owe me money and not return when they have money and pretends to act like nothing happen, even they return money also must choose people to return, so what does it means that i have enough money with me??? Does it means that they don't need to return money to me, what the hell!!! I hate this world, i hate everything, i hate people who takes advantage on me, when they need help i try my best to help them and i get this back in return, then what for i keep being a good and steady friend?? I keep telling myself not to borrow jian kun anymore money but i still lend, why?? I treat him as my friend and he treat me what? Mun kit only know how to say later later, then in the end, not even a dollar is returned to me. What the fuck!!! If they have no money i still can understand, but the problem is even they have the money they also don't want to return, ok la, i was just stupid to treat them as friends. The person i like avoids me, the friends i rely on treats me like dirt!!! I wonder who can i rely on, Teck meng? Dyon? Junhao? Weiling? Yue ming? I just starting to lose faith in everything. Do i really have to rely on myself, do i really have to walk all alone?

Blogged @ 12:11 AM
Don't let me go -

Tuesday, October 6, 2009

Love means nothing but pain. I really hate this kind of feeling of how come she will give me that kind of black face and treat me like transparent, i have been asking myself what did i do wrong but just no answer was obtained, she tell me don't need do so much for her and i did listen to her, even though she was avoiding me but i still listen to what she say and stop bothering her. She saw me and assume i follow her, what the hell, avoiding me as if i will eat her up like that. She never reply my message, keeps giving me a hack care face, it was so damn unfair to me, it was like dying without a reason, i don't even freaking hell know what she is thinking. As if whatever i do or say or explain seems to be a full of nonsense to her, why am i being played around her fingertips? Is this what we so-called love? Nevermind bah, love will not land on me, that's it. I will only play like a crazy guy and having fun with my friends from now on, even though there is no love, but there will always be friendship there to support me. 而且至少我知道就算天塌下来，也有朋友来扛，就算世界末日一切都被毁灭，但友情是永远不会被毁灭或失去，友情就会像灿烂的凤凰一样，就算被毁灭但也会再次重生，更何况朋友不曾孤单过啊！:)

Blogged @ 11:15 PM
Don't let me go -

Thursday, October 1, 2009

Wow that's COOL, she set her blog to private blog and i need the freaking permission to go in, it is hell man, life really sucks. :( I really not going to give a damn about her everything, i will just stay like this and just like this, i will not gonna take another step forward anymore. Single? SO WHAT? Life still goes on and it is good, full of freedom. Haha. I can only rely on my family and friends now, they is what i need now and forever. True love? I wonder does it exist for everyone. It sucks man!!!

Blogged @ 10:02 PM
Don't let me go -